Team Beachbody Guest

Bio
My name is Becky. I am 40 years old; I joined the Air Force in 1987 at the age of 18. I am from Oregon. I ended up in Japan in 1988. I married at age 20 in the Air Force in 1989 while in Japan, moved to New York in 1990 after 3 years active duty. I was recalled for Desert Storm in 1991. I had my son in 1993 (the reason I am on this earth). I got out of an abusive marriage 1995, went

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Bio
My name is Becky. I am 40 years old; I joined the Air Force in 1987 at the age of 18. I am from Oregon. I ended up in Japan in 1988. I married at age 20 in the Air Force in 1989 while in Japan, moved to New York in 1990 after 3 years active duty. I was recalled for Desert Storm in 1991. I had my son in 1993 (the reason I am on this earth). I got out of an abusive marriage 1995, went through horrible times over custody. In 1998 I remarried had two more children and two more reasons why I am on this earth. However again in an abusive marriage. I was getting my second Divorce and going through my second custody fight in 2003 and I just couldn't do it anymore. I became a statistic. In a million years I didn't think this was going to be my life. I Work in the automotive industry in a stamping plant. I have a high stress job and between my job, finances and the lack there of, missing my kids every second they were not with me and in general just not being able to cope any more I had a nervous breakdown. Doctors couldn't tell me what was wrong just kept sending pills my way, which I would only take for a month or two. I don't like medicine. I have been to counselors, physiatrists, neurologists, and several other doctors. They said it's all in my head. I gained 60lbs lost allot of hair, fell asleep standing up, driving my car and every time I sat down. It has been horrible. I lived like I couldn't do anything about it. I tried many many times but couldn't make it happen. In my entire life I never felt defeated before. Wow could I pick em. Through all of this I always new taking care of me was what would get me through the emotional challenges. I always kept myself in shape. I was over 185 lbs for each pregnancy. After each one I worked my way back to 125 and less than 20% body fat. It always meant a lot to me to take care of myself. This was no easy task I had to work very hard to get that way and stay that way. When it was all said and done the custody fight took a toll on me. I used to wonder if I would ever recover. I kept telling myself I have to take care of myself so I can take care of the kids and all the things that come with being a single working mother. Mind over matter always worked for me before. It was never an option to let myself slack off. This was different. I kept telling myself I would get back on track. I would spend a month doing everything just right and then I would quit like I wasn't doing it for any particular reason. Little by little I spent more of my time getting through the day just so I could go back to bed. I wasn’t coping with any responsibility. My whole life changed. I want to feel good again. I want to get dressed because it feels good again not just because I need to. I want to be a part of my own life again. I want to be around people not just the ones at work. The kids are growing up and I am realizing how low I have taken myself. I am not going to live with this anymore. I have to make it right. I want to be part of life not on the side lines. My kids, my relationships with friends and loved ones and my job are all suffering. I am suffering. My son is 15 and he really needs me to be there and be able to pay attention. He is going through some serious medical issues that may be part of the rest of his life. Going through this with him is what is showing me just how far out of control I have been. This is my Why. This is my time. I am going to do this. It makes me cry when I read this as I write it. I will be part of my own life again. No more denial. No more excuses. No more waiting for something ells to happen. Even though it makes me cry to really tell the truth to myself I am so excited because it really is my new beginning. Writing this is a huge breakthrough for me. The tears are because I am letting go of where I have been. It feels good to be here right now starting my new life. P90X here I come be ready to bring it!!!!

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